Meri Dunya

Changes

2011-10-08T21:31:00.003+03:00

I wonder how I have changed as a person in recent years. At times I find it so frustrating that the things I used to hold so valuable are not that important to me anymore.

There is so much I have forgotten, and most of it is the memories I did not want to get rid of. Is it nature working its way and doing something I do not grasp at the moment or it is plain me, once again not able to understand me and changes that has affected my personality.

I am more flexible now I guess.

After wedding.

2011-09-25T09:40:00.001+03:00

I got married on 3rd September 2011. Just came back to Kuwait on 24th September. I still can't believe how quickly this time passed, my head can't register the reality that it all happened and I am back to this country all alone myself.

No

2011-08-14T09:38:00.002+03:00

No, I do not like the way it is going. Insha'Allah It is going to be better. (Ameen)

Emotions, sharing and shapes.

2011-07-25T09:19:00.000+03:00

In a contrast to usual perception, I do share things. I like sharing my thoughts, my emotions, in general my life with people I trust, and who I believe would understand me, appreciate me and give me a constructive feedback. Having said that, it is also true that I have always shared my stuff with more than one person. Like I have different avenues to shed my life stuff, based on personae I have assumed for different people around me. (and this shouldn't freak out any one of you, seriously)

There is always some sort of selection of events/stuff to share with, but usually it is a mixture of good and bad bits. The way I believe most of us are 'programmed' is; we take-in events, happenings, and our own thoughts as an input for our inner being, and then we decode them in to emotions to be transferred.

To put emotions into a perception, I would like to give them shapes. Categorizing these emotions in to two forms i.e. positive and negative beings would help the case. Now if I really wanted to simplify this, and create a logical block diagram, I would have chosen a round and square shapes. But unfortunately, life is not that simple in my view. Either it be positive or a negative bit, both of them do not come in 'regular' forms. So let us say they come in 'uneven', irregular shapes.

Now while passing these uneven shapes, either the mode of communication or the container (next person) is not always capable to accept the shapes intended for the transfer. So in the transfer process or so called 'sharing', some of the rough edges are scratched off. With course of time, my own container fills up with so much of the residue that there remains no space for further emotions.

This is the situation I felt yesterday. I usually do get these every few months. So how do I deal with it? I try to consume those bits/emotions/energies to make room for new. I spend money, do things I don't usually do, eat out, eat a lot, do nothing and laze around, and most significantly, I stop 'sharing'.

Good bye home*

2011-04-28T15:28:00.001+03:00

I am not going to list down all the things I found out like this post couple of years back. Because this move has completely different meaning this time.

Last night was the last time I slept at the same place I came to home after my birth. Today was the last time I had breakfast at the place I learnt how to eat. Today was the last time I locked the door, where I learnt how the keys looked like. It was the door where I managed to break my toe nail, and it still has those marks.

There are so many memories associated to this place, even if I want to write them all, it would take couple of days before I can finish this post. I haven't lived at this place all my life, but yes, significant part of my life was spent here. Or the part I most cherish of my childhood was spent in this apartment. It was later one when we moved to a bigger place, my uncle with his family moved in. It is the place where I lived with my grand parents, I do miss grand dad at times.

I made a video yesterday, moving very quickly around the building and of the apartment for which my siblings will appreciate me, yet the thought of not being able to come back to this place physical makes my heart dips. They will soon be demolishing it, as by today's standards it looks old and is not required, but for some the memories of this place will remain forever.

At this moment there is something stuck in my throat, I am not sure what is it and how it will go away. I don't know why certain things have to be the way they are.

Life phases

2011-04-26T11:45:00.000+03:00

I think I have learned to live with the circumstances encircled me since few good months now. I am no more angry with the way things are happening around me. I look it as a natural course of life, on which I as a human being have a little say.

This is possibly my phase of a resentment to a contentment. Not that I am out of ideas, thoughts, comments or plans for my life, or life around me, it is just that I would rather take a non-conflicting route keeping my sanity intact hence, ensuring day to day happiness :).

The Mountain

2011-04-21T18:03:00.000+03:00

Pepsi with ice

2011-04-13T21:18:00.002+03:00

Do din hogye hain is mausam ki pehli 'coke with ice' piye. Abhi tek gala buht ziada kharab nahi huwa. Just wanted to record this event. lol

Your dream vacation?

2011-04-13T09:37:00.001+03:00

Some remote island...

Ask me anything

Lost of memories

2011-04-10T13:19:00.000+03:00

Although the subject of the post may seem more dramatic but the lost of my precious USB memory stick is not of any less importance. I lost it as somebody broke into my car last night and don't ask me why I had it in my car. I had lot of backed up data in it, including received files, images, songs, and so many things I don't even want to remember now.

Anyhow its gone now, and my regular theory needs to be applied again: Everything happens for a reason!

P.S: I had already lost most of my previous backed up data while updating OS of my laptop :/

Hamari generation

2011-04-03T14:08:00.000+03:00

Itna aasaan asool pata nahi logou'n ko samajh kion nahi aata? Akhir ab aisa bhi bhala kia bura hai hamari nasal mai? Akhir hum aisa bhi kia ker rehay hain jo hamarey barou'n ko buht nagawar guzarta hai?

Sochnay ki baat to yeh hai keh hum jo kertay hain, woh hum kion kertay hain. Hamie aise kernay per kon uksata hai? Hum yeh sub kahan say seekhtay hain?

Meray nazdeek to kisi ki shaksiyat ko bananay mai sub say ziada kirdaar uskay maa baap ka hota hai. Yeh maap baap k fara'iz mai shamil hai bachoun ki parwarish kerna, unki zarortien puri kerna aur unki shaksiyat ki tameer kerna. Jo log aaj yeh shikayat ker rehay hain keh hamarey bachay aisa nahi kertay waisa nahi kertay, unko sochna chahiyeh keh unho nai apnay bacho ko kaisa mahool faraham kia jab keh unke zehn kachay thay? Kia kabhi sirf islye TV off kerdia k bachay dekh rehay hain? Kia kabhi songs band kerdiye islye k bachay sun rehay hain? Kia unke samnay namaz adaa ki keh woh bhi seekh sakien? Kia kabhi apnay ghusay per qaboo kia keh bachoun per kia asar hoga?

Yeh woh sub batien hain jinper hamarey aam gharano mai kabhi socha he nahi gaya. Hamarey haan samajh lia gya hai k maa baap ka farz sirf bacho ki roz-mara zaroriat ko pura kerna hai. Taleem-o-tarbiyat school keh asaatzah per chor di gyi hai jinko aik class mai 40-50 bacho ko perhana hota hai, Islam ki taleem masjid k maulvi per jo sirf Quran perhna sikhata hai aur rehi sahi qasar TV aur Internet puri ker deta hai.

Aise mahool mai mazeed kia tawaqu ki jasakti hai hamari nasal say?

Blog window

2011-03-17T12:46:00.001+03:00

And there are times I am left with this blog window alone...

Who's the funniest person you know?

2011-02-05T22:02:00.003+03:00

None.

Ask me anything

Okay.. how do u do post this on your blog ? Instructions please? :D

2011-02-05T22:01:00.001+03:00

You just need to 'share' your responses with 'Blogger'. You Can do it with 'Facebook' or 'Twitter' as well.

Its very easy once you try to explore options on formspring...

Ask me anything

Unknown phone call

2011-02-05T16:18:00.005+03:00

Mujhey yakeen hai kay aap sub bhi aisay kaifiyat say zaroor guzray houngay. Kabhi apne phone receive kia ho, unkown or withhold number say, aur aagay say kisi aunty ki awaz aaye, "pehchana kaun"?

I mean what's the point in it? why do people like to test each other? what if the other person doesn't pass your impulsive questionnaire?

Aisa he kuch aaj meray saath huwa. Aik unknown number say call, (which hints towards an international call), salam dua kay baad aunty nai pocha, pehchana kaun? ab yeh aik beshak mushkil sawal tha, kionkeh yakeen janiye keh mai phone per buhat kam baat kerta houn, aur woh bhi aunty?

Mai akser aise sawalo per 'inkaar' kerdia kerta houn, woh bhi jab andaza ho keh koi aunty hai:D albata aaj he pata nahi kion, maine thori si soch-o-bichar kay baad 'ghalt' jawab de dia. Wahan say aik halki see hansi ki awaz aayi aur keha keh "nahi mai woh* aunty houn, uski* ami".

Mujhey samajh nahi aati keh logo ko aisa kerke kia maza aata hai? mujhey kabhi samajh nahi aasaki. Khaas torr per jab aap kisi aise shaks ko call ker rehay houn jissey aapka buht kam rabta ho, usko aisi musibat mai dalnay ka kia faida? meray hisaab say to 2 hi batien hotsakti hain, ya to:
1. Apni 'worth' check kerna maqsood hota hai.
2. Dosray ko musibat mai dalna maqsad.

Anyhow, I just wanted to let my frustration out somehow :|

Post after holiday.

2011-01-21T15:04:00.001+03:00

For those who missed me, well I am back after 3 weeks off:P Had good fun with family at home :)

Tagheyyur.: Ager Mohammad Rasool Allah kisi din mery mehman ba...

2010-12-21T09:29:00.000+03:00

Tagheyyur.: Ager Mohammad Rasool Allah kisi din mery mehman ba...: "Note: 'This poem was printed in 1983 in 'Awake' magazine of December 1983 issue, published by South African Muslim Youth Organization 'The Y..."

Vacation ended

2010-10-03T10:15:00.002+03:00

It wasn't a best day yesterday, mishap at Kuwait airport was the worst thing ever happened to me in my travel history, anyhow Alhamdulilah all is well, and yes vacations were fine. I'll miss Lahore even more now.

tell me something you never told anyone before

2010-09-15T09:35:00.001+03:00

Tell me one good reason why should I?

Ask me anything

Vacations post 1 - 2010

2010-08-30T10:30:00.002+03:00

Although I am enjoying myself here, and there is nothing better than home, yet there are few things which are notably different:
1. First day driving, I was driving on the wrong side of the road!
2. The cars and the roads look so small...
3. Its always so dark outside in the evenings...
4. I am having an extra fast than rest of my family here! :P
5. Days are moving fast...why does it always happen when you are on vacations ?:(

And yes again, its great to see all of them :)

dark chocolate or me? wink

2010-08-06T14:56:00.001+03:00

dark chocolate ^o)

Ask me anything

Meri Kahani: Time for a new beginning

2010-08-01T11:44:00.000+03:00

Meri Kahani: Time for a new beginning

I am only getting to start what he was actually talking about...

I am not complaining

2009-11-09T11:05:00.002+03:00

that people don't understand me. But somehow it is all coming to a point where I am held responsible for all the mess. I am not the kind of person who would deny the responsibility but what I would like to see is a shared sense of improvement, a solution carved out from a situation, in a collaborative manner rather than throwing all the blame on a single person.

Either it be me or someone else, it won't do no good to the other person, as he or she never accepted their mistake, loosing the chance to recover/learn.

One week passed,

2009-09-06T13:12:00.002+03:00

and he is no more with me.

My uncle, who was 70+ died on friday night. A whole day has been passed away, yet I cannot comprehend what has happened and how. Something unimaginable has happened. For someone looking at his age may not be very much surprised but us, the people living around them haven't had faintest idea that this was coming.

I am writing this post so I do not forget this tragedy, the day I even cried, and the day I felt this life so meaningless.

The things he used to say, the things we did together, everything is still reminding me of him. He was only one elder person in the family I could easily speak to. We used to discuss politics, environment, religion, joke together, watched tv together, went for prayer together...

I was it his place, only because at the begining of Ramadan he asked me excplicitly, Tauqeer, why you want to go home?, stay here, stay with us, keep rozay with us this year. And I was like, okay Bao ji, I will come back with my clothes and stuff, and again he asked me to stay till Sehri time.

I went home and came back a week later, first thing he asked: Why you haven't shown you face whole week, your office is nearby you could have made here easily...and I just smiled.

When I was born, my mum got ill and I came home, I stayed with my uncle and aunt for more than a week. So possibly, it was that first week bond we still had in common, that whenever we used to meet, we was extra generous to me, always used to ask me my plans, about my job etc.

Only couple of days earlier, I was thinking, if I was to teach him use a laptop, how would he comprehend the amount of knowledge available online etc etc...may be that is not important anymore.

His last day was friday, we went to pray all the prayers in masjid together except Fajr, which he knew I used to pray at home. There was no obvious signs as if he was feeling any different that day, just a normal happy day, had few other guests at home for iftar as well.

Before the Iftar time, unusually I went to his room, and sat with him on his bed. We were just watching TV together and I asked how was it used to be like in old days when you were young and same time I said to myself..I should ask more of these questions, as we don't know if we ever going to have this chance again or not. And yes, that was my last questions to him.

I asked him, how many branded products they used to have at home when he was young, and he said: Hand soup and shoe polish...cherry blossom , lifebuoy and sunlight...

He also told me some old stories of my dad the other day...

There are so many other things I wanted to ask him, yet I wouldn't have chance to any more.

He usually asked me, what life I do prefer? Life in Britain, here in Kuwait or is Pakistan better and I used to get annoyed by hearing same question again and again yet I used to reply to him as in; It depends on a person and his priorities, its good everywhere, I can adjust.

This was the first time I seen death and dead person so closely. I went to grab telephone to call ambulance, I saw his half open eyes, and straight away knew there is something seriously wrong yet I couldn't say nothing. I tried to massage him, did everything I could to make him move, make some noise but all in vain. When the paramedic guy said, he is no more, I still had the courage to ask, is there nothing you can do now? and the guy goes, he had died for more than 20 minutes now, you can give artificial breathing only under five minutes of heart stroke, he is just dead now. Me and my cousin came out of the room, aunty was crying and weeping in the doorway and asked us what do the say, and that was a terrible moment, what to tell her.

Seen all the paper works, three different ambulances coming to home, and then the other day burial. Something in me was telling again and again, this is not the only time, this is not the final time, there will be more of these times, I have so many loved ones, my parents, my sisters, my elders, and yet how prepared are we? We all have to leave this world, going back to where we came from, Allah(SWT) created us, and we all go back to him, yet we have the courage to disobey and do whatever we like, somewhere inside us building up our self made excuses of not praying enough and not doing enough what has been asked us to do.

Who ever reads this, please pray for his soul, and please do remember, we all have to go back.

vacation post - 1

2009-07-28T17:08:00.002+03:00

I am home since friday and I have only seen around 55% of my house :D no no its not 20 room mansion or something...but i hope it doesnt approve laziness as well....though its just...im on vacations na :$ and yeah havnt been able to go out and get my local sim working as well :D ....hmmm wish me fun!

sleepin disorder

2009-07-14T19:58:00.002+03:00

2 nights since I slept properly. Feels like if some corner of my mind is ALWAYS ON.

sleepin disorder

2009-07-14T19:58:00.000+03:00

2 nights since I slept properly. Feels like if some corner of my mind is ALWAYS ON.

Namkeen chai.

2009-07-10T10:58:00.000+03:00

I am just done with breakfast now. My day so far is not as smooth as I might have wanted for but it is not very unusual at a new place.

Last night, after posting my previous blog, I went straight to bed as I had a really hectic day at work and later had to face chaos at airport. It seems like whole of Kuwait is flying away. Although I have cleaned and arranged most of this place before, with help of my dad and sympathetic aunt, yet there is dust and few things were not very usable. Same is the case with my bed. I went there and find no bed covers, a new pillow still wrapped in air tight plastic, and a blanket also in cover. I quickly unwrapped all of that, but found some dust on my bed which I tried to get rid of, so I decided not to put bed cover until I am sure it is well clean. With new pillow and a different bed, I could only sleep couple of hours.

I woke up, completely at new place, looking at mobile for time, and it was time to wake up. It is Friday today, and have to wake up soon to be able to reach Jumma prayers on time. Quickly I wanted to have breakfast but again same scenario, need to get new bottle of oil out, and unwrapped few other things. I already had my masalas filled in those transparent plastic containers. A desi chai with evaporated milk is usual for breakfast and fried egg with toast. All I would like to say is, I used SALT instead of Sugar in my tea!! Good that I nipped a bit before taking everything to TV lounge and thankfully dad brought me some juice yesterday, otherwise it would have been disaster!

Wish me luck for rest of my day: P

Back to basics.

2009-07-10T00:56:00.002+03:00

It's been almost 21 years since I last slept in this room. I have actually moved backed to this apartment as of today. I am bit excited, thrilled, sad, and missing my family and the old days. I have lots of happy memories related to this apartment as this is the first place I was brought to live in after the local hospital. It was back in 80's when things were slow as same was the case around this place as well. Since advent of strange modernisation idea of building high rise buildings and owning vehicles more than people on this planet has obvious affects on this neighbourhood as well. It is not as calm and peaceful place I can ditch from my deep memories. Those days, the bright sunlight was always an invitation to go out of the flat and have some fun! not as of now where I do try to shy away from direct sunlight and prefer to stay in air condition as much as I can. Things are not same, I am not a very young inquisitive child who is always asking questions, not that I do not anymore or my dad does not respond to them but of course the nature of subjects under scrutiny has been changed by this change in years.

At the moment I am sitting alone with my laptop and some Hindi movie on TV. I have just arrived back from airport, dropping off dad and uncle for Lahore. My happiness and pleasure of staying at this place is not for long, as only today we received a notice to vacate the place as they want to demolish and build up a high rise, almost a similar scenario all over this region. For this notice thing, I am not feeling down at all, I am taking it as my fate, at-least I will have a chance to stay for a while, what bothers me is the hassle to find a new place, which is a big nightmare for a bachelor to get decent place.

Wish me luck:)

okay i cant think of a topic...m sleepy!

2009-06-01T08:42:00.003+03:00

Pata hai kia, I thought of a topic, made all the sequence in mind, even the closing lines during the weekend, and here I am online again, laiken kuch bhi yaad nahi aareha :D It was mainly to do with the current situation in Pakistan.

Can't think of anything else to share filhaal, nothings been happening, it's pretty much routine life. Kafi time huwa koi new movie bhi nahi dekhi, Susan Boyle bichari haar gyi uska afsos hai. TV per aajkal Simpsons k illawa Frasier show dekh reha hun, sahi hai acha hota hai kabhi kabhi.

Soon I am planning to buy a Terabyte external hard disk, uskay barey mai likhounga, kion k I am very sure that would be another milestone and a date to remember....as in...The day I had my own Terbyte....lol...so stay tuned!

Maa...

2009-04-28T15:03:00.000+03:00

Its bad..

2009-04-11T13:19:00.002+03:00

Not a very good start of the year. Two of my close friends got divorced. One after only 4 months of marriage and other with several months of Nikkah but 10 days before rukhsati... Uff where we all heading...what happened to all style marriage concept...!

Chocolate cake

2009-02-22T10:16:00.004+03:00

The cake we had to celebrate my 'achievement'....Driving licence:|

By the way cake was great, it was home-made style cake with lot and chocolate and even extra creamy chocolate in a container to pour more on it :P Nobody dared to touch that though, yet it was nice...

Have a look! :P

17th Feb 2009

2009-02-22T10:13:00.002+03:00

I had to go to work at 5:30 A.M.!!! and to make it on time, I actually had to wake up at 4:50 A.M....

It was just some installation activity on a site....see lot of hard work to keep your cell phones ringing? Things are done on mobile base stations and networks only at night times so that minimum disruption is caused to the users....huh....I even got a pic of the road, as evidence.. :P

Lipikar.com

2009-02-12T15:15:00.002+03:00

ابھي ابھي نيا سوفٹوير انسٹول کيا ھے اردو لکھنے کہ لۓ. کافي حد تک آسان ترکيبہ استعمال ہے.تھوڑي سي مشق کہ بعد بھتر ھوجاۓ گا.

Dunya

2009-02-04T13:27:00.002+03:00

expectations?

2008-12-15T22:05:00.000+03:00

mera masla yeh hai k I dont know what people expects of me ....even my parents, siblings, family, friends...everyone...its so hard to judge and balance it all :S

last two weeks!

2008-12-14T07:53:00.002+03:00

Had a great time for last two weeks as I was in Lahore for my best mate and cousins wedding and ofcourse Eid ul Adha.

Eid ul Adha or 'bari Eid' was also a big fun since I was in Lahore for this eid after probably 7 years! and haan cousin ki shadi bhi achi rehi buht, kafi mazay kiye, khoob tang kia usko, but yes, flight back was crap! Doha airport has nothing to offer, and well my luck, even the WiFi wasn't working that day!

Anyways, back to work :|

In kuwait

2008-11-01T11:36:00.003+03:00

I know its been some time since I have written anything. Not that I have gone bored of all this blogging thing but rather I would say, I have grown less urge to write all in public!!..

Nahi seriously, not much happening. Ya phir keha ja sakta hai buht kuch horeha hai but I am just uncertain about it all. Got new job, so life got all busy in establishing myself once again back to Kuwait, the city, the place I have spent all my childhood. It is certainly not same, haven't got my immediate family to support me at home neither old place we used to live, still all hoping to start it over, and crushingly feeling to forget previous 1-1.5 years time, since that was never my preferred place or job to be in ..

Pata nahi how other people go through this all, laiken starting a career is a difficult thing (yes thats how I feel these days!), there are so many uncertainties, pata nahi kia hoga kia nahi hoga, yeh job jo choose ki hai achi rehay gi future k liye ya nahi rehay gi, how to accomodate family, shadi kab kerni hai, aur jo baqi sub kerna tha life mai uska kia hoga?!

Well since abhi i am living with close relatives, so life is kinda easy, after living alone for more than 6 years, living in a family is ofcourse a relaxing experience. Since i dont have to worry about food or laundry, i am taking life bit too easy these days. Not that k aur kaam koi nahi hai, still need to find accomodation for myself, have applied for driving licence jab tek woh nai hojata complete can not afford to move away from this place, uske baad still on probation at work place, need to prove myself, should feel worthy to them.

Personal diet regime, exercise schedule, sports, friends, online gaming, sub kuch planning phases mai hai, yet there is no rush, I am just taking it easy, a whole new transform, new* place , new friends, new life!

Baqi I am so glad I have some of the nicest people as my online friends, who have kept me going in almost all kinds of situations :)

was my bday few days back ..

2008-10-11T15:59:00.001+03:00

This year, after a "couple" of years I have not received a phone call on my birthday. Not that I really get excited for the birthday thing neither I do believe in celebrating the day but just that I have been receiving that phone call for sometime now, I left myself in believing that it will continue for ever, yet nothing seems to be forever..that`s very true for this life I guess.

interesting hunna

2008-09-06T22:56:00.002+03:00

Enjoying gher k parathas in sehri and 2-day weekend after dont know how many years!!!

(A)..

Good bye dubai...

2008-08-18T23:32:00.006+03:00

Aik dafa phir aaj gher chortey buht dukh horeha hai ...pata nahi mere saath hi aisa kion hota hai ...every year or two i have to leave the place...pata nahi kab aise gher mai rehounga jahan apna sub kuch buht der tek rekh sakoun...

Sub say mushkil kaam mere drawer ka hota hai..jahan mai itna time sub kuch jama kerta rehta hun...itna kuch i want to keep, just for the sake of memories laiken hamesha usually im moving away from the country isliye limited si capacity hoti hai so i just have to get rid of few things..jo k buht difficult kaam hai...pata nahi i love my things so much..kuch kharab bhi hojaye to dil nai kerta phenknay ka :$

Pehlay Huddersfield chora..phir Tonbridge chora..phirse Huddersfield chora Bradford k liye ..and phir Bradford chora Manchester k liye and Manchester chora Dubai k liye...Dubai almost 1yr 6 months reha houn...and now moving to Kuwait.

Since aaj last day hai almost as inshAllah kal going to Pakistan for short trip..sub saman pack ker reha tha abhi sonay se pehlay.. so subse bara masla wohi drawer khali kernay ka aaya..and usme kia kia nahi tha!!...since i did not want to through anything away...im writing down the list of items i found in it(not complete list and yes i did threw them away) hence writing them here:

1. Supermarket Receipts:

i. Danphi Supermarket
ii. United Hypermarket
iii. Al Madina Supermarket
iv. Carrefour
v. Lulu Hypermarket.

2. Movie Tickets:

i. Rush Hour 3
ii. Partition
iii. American Gangster
iv. Jumper

3. Restaurants:

i. Dragon Hut
ii. Charley's Grilled Subs
iii. Gyro Restaurant

4. Park Tickets:

i. Creek Park

5. Raffle Tickets:

i. Century Mall raffle ticket for Nissan...(which i never won ofcourse)

6. Taxi receipts

7. Bank receipts

8. Dubai Duty free shop

1. Dark Chocolate ( somebody didn't liked it though:S )

and thats about it. Now lets see whats next for me...Hopefully something better :)

~Happy Independence Day~

2008-08-14T11:44:00.002+03:00

May Allah help our country in these difficult times and help us make this country much better place for all of us.

Match...

2008-08-05T14:43:00.002+03:00

Since I am in a country where I spent most of my childhood, some of the school time memories do arise in my hollow frame of mind.

The other day, aik game yaad aayi we used to play during school time. Ab yad kertay hain to achi khasi hansi aati hai. I am sure hum sub nai kabhi na kabhi aisa zaror kuch kia hi hoga. It was about matching your karma with the other person you desire. So simply ager apko koi larki pasand hai to uska naam and apna naam..dono ki compatibility check kia kertay thaye ...hehe. And i used to consider myself guru in that.. aadhi class nai mere se hi check kerwaya tha...and haha i cant remember maine kahan se seekha tha.

It was very simple, just aik dosrey naam mai jitne letter common houn uski koi ratio nikaltay thaye..phir uski kisi number se multiply and divide kerna hota tha :D...

anyways... aise hi yaad aagya :P

Halfdate.com

2008-08-01T15:52:00.002+03:00

I want all my Muslim friends to join :

http://halfdate.com/

Thanks

Finally..

2008-07-22T21:26:00.002+03:00

Today is the first time I have ever resigned from a proper full time job... May Allah help in succeed at new place...Ameen

Sad Day...

2008-06-16T10:29:00.002+03:00

Today the first call I got in the morning was about my "nana ji" or "bau ji" as everybody used to call him. He passed away after being seriously ill for couple of weeks now. He was diagnosed Hepatitis C for sometime and of course the old age didn't cope up.

I am here in Dubai, leaving for Kuwait today, thinking if I could ever have said a proper good bye... I was reluctant but glad I met him when leaving for Kuwait and it was only 2 months back... he was okay back then, never knew I wouldn't be able to see him again. I hope and hope my mum and all would be okay and May Allah grant us all to bear this tragedy. Indeed life and death is not in our hands but again sorrow and grief is natural for all of us.

Lets hope I have enough guts to call my mum today...

21 may 2008

2008-05-21T23:36:00.002+03:00

Im missing home today, so much! buht kam hi aisa hua hai ..laiken aaj i hardly contained my tears, i was almost about to burst... pata nai mere ird gird logoun k lagta hai k mai buht sakht dil houn...mujhey kuch feel nai hota. Aaj mera room mate/ colleague job chor ker Pakistan chala gya, ab kal raat betha keh reha tha k dekho sub kitne busy hain kisi k pass time hi nahi, and well aisa nai k mujhey uskay jana ka afsos nai tha..but how to express? shaed yehi meri problem hai .. and aaj jab usko airport per chornay gye and we sat at burger king for sometime.. well wahan per aik lamhay k liye mujhey apne gher ki buht yaad aayi...its only bin about a month since i came back yet it was so hard to control.. and i believe it was first time i txted home and told them i am missing you all ... i dont know something got into me jab mere dost nai pocha k kitni der hogyi ami abu k saath rehay huwey...and mai kaha 'ab to arsa hi hogya...' ..i just so wish i could live with them once again..my dreams and ambitions sub gye bhar mai..family se ziada kia imp hai life mai? i know k they love me so much and they want me to live with them as being the only son they have to right to think like that yet they have allowed me to follow my own desires...dubai, kuwait nothing has proven any better to me yet...sometimes sochta hun shaed parents ki dua hi chaiyeh "kamyaab" honay k liye dat is why i am still looking for a better job..

khair lets hope subha tek the feeling goes away..nahi to it would be hard i know :)

mai and meri yeh job ..

2008-03-13T09:24:00.000+03:00

Aaj ka din complete mixture tha. Aaj to sir bhi kafi dukh reha hai, pata nai bimari hai ya tension. Abhi tek chutti ki application approve nai hui and mujhey next week jana hai pakistan jiske asaar kam hi nazr aatay hain, mai apne cousin ki mangni per har soorat puhnchna chahta hun, he is one of my closest friends as well laiken yeh job pata nai kia kia lai kerke jayegi... Subha subha hi usne suna dia k aapko aik stamp paper sign kerna hoga janay se pehlay...phir bata dia k chuttian 21 nahi 15 hain aapki phir aur museebtien...mujhey samajh nai aarehi k aaj kal job mai har terf se hi koi nai koi masla hai..there is sometime back jab maine buht se official matters se grip loose ki thi..just to free up myself and let believe in the system...but that system is goin against me now :S :S yani k unwillingly all these things clinged on my mind whole day so shaam ko jo annual dinner party thi, i couldnt enjoy thoroughly coz internally i did not had enough reasons to smile or feel great about the employer to be honest.. and guess what, the consolidatory bonus voucher i recieved got a fine print sayin: i will be only paid that amount with next salary if a contract is signed...i wonder what contract they talkin abt now?!?! bloddy ell man..bachay ki jaan lo gay kia!! nyway in nutshell i am pretty annoyed tonight...hopefully the feelings go away by tomorrow and i would be able to sort out stuff with my boss jiske chances kuch khaas great nazr nai aatey but still...im nt gona lose hope...i let myself into this situation, and inshAllah with help of Almighty Allah i will be able to crawl back! i am looking forward for next week for better things...

*i know its another depressed post.

yet it happens still ...

2007-11-17T01:54:00.000+03:00

I am just coming after watching the movie Om Shanti Om but I am going to write nothing about it. It is about the strange emotions I went through while driving back home, the song from movie Tere Naam was playing on the radio and right after that song from the movie Jism played. I went all back in years while listening to these songs. It was strange me imagining in my old vauxhaul car I used to drive in UK and what a time it was. Full of hope and mysterious future ahead. The bright day in London almost shined to me once again and I was back in memories. So many people were around who are not in picture at all now.

Oh i miss those times,
when the songs play,
when the winds blow,
it makes me feel all bright once again, but yet sad.
there is nothing i have carried,
with me as a companion,
neither the friends,
nor the country,
or even whom i loved,
for reasons not known,

It almost made me call the person which is all lame and then I wanted to call home, call my mum but have nothing to say. Sometimes I feel alone, darkened in all my loneliness yet the friends still encircle me. I acclaim them, I am glad I always had people to help me carry through the times which may seem hard but nothing remains forever, atleast thats what i have learnt so far.

Haha this is interesing!

2007-11-03T10:52:00.000+03:00

sometimes...

2007-10-13T11:13:00.000+03:00

Sometimes I feel like everyone around is living and I am just Watching.

buss aik post

2007-09-12T16:21:00.000+03:00

It`s been sometime since I wrote something in my blog. I really do not understand the reason why I used to write or why I am not writing anymore. Kia abhi life bilkul bhi worthwhile nahi hai? Kia abhi aisa kuch bhi nahi horeha jo mai blog k through save kerna chahoun?

Koi 1.5 month pehlay mai Pakistan gya tha, cousin ki shadi thi and waise bhi gher jana tha... Acha reha trip, laiken strangely I did not enjoy as much as I used to enjoy earlier, jab mai UK say Pakistan jaya kerta tha, I did try not to look different, I tried my best to blend in and have a good time, laiken ager internally I asses it, it was probably all fake. Maine buht sochnay ki koshish ki k what would be the reason behind? I am Home! and with my Family, and on a occasion, it should be all jolly and humorous, laiken phir bhi.. pata nahi shaed yeh year hi kuch aisa hai, I made few decision which might not be turning the way I wanted and this has caused a prolonged era of depression resulting in lack of my humourous instict, sense of enjoyment and feeling of writing something...

Aik mustaqil jang si chal rehi hai mere mai, kia kerun kia na kerun, sentiments, emotions, relationships, economics, future prospects, sub kuch hi blur sa hota ja reha hai. I apply for new jobs everyday laiken don't persue them later isliye kuch nahi badalta, mere say itnay logo ko itni expectations hain, mere managers ko at work, mere parents ko at home and people in trusted circle, kis kis ko kaise khush kerun....buht masla hai yeh to :(

Well socha to buht kuch likhne ko, roz hi koi na koi baat to zaror aati hai zehn mai k isper likhna chahiyeh, laiken phir wohi, I just don`t get enough time to think about myself anymore, shaed k mai khudi nahi chahta sochna, kion k jab sochnay bethta houn to dil kerta hai k sub kuch aik din mai hi change hojaye, jo k mumkin nahi.

Abhi mai gher per betha hun, 3:30 pm wednesday, one day to go for ramadan, hah last year tek i would have known islamic dates as well and would have sent Ramadan greetings to most of my friends etc etc and this year till yesterday I wasn't sure when the blessed month is going to start, how things are changed, it is certainly not going the way I wanted...

opss

2007-08-11T18:24:00.000+03:00

usne pocha best friend kon hai list mai? mai pocha larkoun mai ya larkion mai? usne kaha sub mai! maine kaha tum batao, usne kaha touqeer:|

confused??

2007-06-30T22:31:00.000+03:00

Haan probably I should put these kinda posts on this blog only. I wanted to write about the recent flooding in southern Pakistan and the political scenario in the Palestine which is certainly very distressing but once again couldn’t find enough concentration to do so, and hence as a branded mean person, here comes another post just for myself.

It’s 11:20 a.m. and I am leaving for the site from our office in Qusais. I have just signed a leave application which is lying on my table at the moment, it will take lot of mental energy for me to take that to the OTHER room for approval but the first step has been completed and it’s a relief. Recently, most of my spare time is spent thinking about my role in the company and if that is really what I always wanted to do. Somehow my immature mind can not comprehend and process all the good related to this job either available to me yet or can be foreseen in the future but the constant state of discomfort I am facing these days makes me depressed and miserable most of the times which in turns makes me not to answer work phone or reply emailsK.

Everyday I plan to move but move where? I have checked possibilities with Canadian immigrations, work visa for UK which all seems very encouraging but when I think about it seriously, these are the places I left and decided not to live for good, then how come I am planning to go back!. Kuwait seems to be place where I CAN live but again possibilities of finding a job are really slim with my little industry experience. I don’t know what I am running from, either I’m home sick(after living five years away from family?), or I just don’t like my job, but there is certainly something of not my liking. At this time of my career I can not afford to make any wrong choices. I do acknowledge that my decision to move Dubai was a haphazard and something like that once again wouldn’t me wise of me for certain but …

Anyways plan for Pakistan! Meri cousin ki shadi hai na on 21^st! which I don’t want to miss:$ and hopefully this will give me some time to think calmly about what’s going around.

Arghhh how come my blogs turning into pure ranting these days: @ :’(

nikamma blogspot

2007-06-13T13:04:00.000+03:00

I hate blogspot for sure! yani k kal mai itni mehnat say phir blog likha, well once again car mai, yani k successive two blogs in three days! kal hi maine aaker POST kerdia, it did not come to the page straight away, mujhey laga baad mai aajaye ga jaisa k hota hota hai kabhi kabhi, even it was there on Dashboard, maine gher jaaker apni word file delete kerdi, trusting this stupid blogspot to aaj kia dekhta hun k na hi post aayi hai, and na hi woh dashboard per hai :@:@:@ aisa yani k ho hi kaise sakta hai ;'( and mujhey ab yaad bhi nahi aareha k maine likha kia tha...laiken it was certainly something interesting, better than what i have been posting recently, kia musibat hai na :(

Tuhfa

2007-03-29T14:45:00.000+03:00

"...jab admi kisse ko koi tuhfa deta hai to wo jantaa hai ke agar koi aise cheez day ga jo uss shaks ke pass nahi hai, tou wo khush hoga, laeken ab agar Allah ko tuhfa dena ho to phir insaan kia kare?.. ..ALLAH ke pass to sub kuch hai, usko to kisse cheez ki kamee nahi hai.
Aise mein insaan ke taraf se aajezi ka tuhfa diya ja sekta hai..ALLAH tou bari shaan wala hai, mutakaber hai...is leye aajezi usko pasand hai."

Not exact words as i got this from orkut community but no matter when ever i read anything of this person, I feel like writing it down. So deep and practical, I just love Ashfaq Ahmed's writings.

Link: http://www.orkut.com/Community.aspx?cmm=396625

dubai update

2007-03-26T19:18:00.000+03:00

Waise kitni strange baat hai k I dont have any favourite songs for any occasion, udaas houn ya khush kabhi yaad nahi aata k konsa song mujhey pasand tha :S achanak abhi dosrey room mai "Awaara pan banjara pan, aik khala hai seenay mai" song chala to mujhey khayal aaya k how much i used to listen to this song but I don't anymore.

Aaj phir din koi khaas acha nahi guzra, aik well done ki email to aayi hai about presentation ki laiken saath aik aur bad news bhi k we not moving to separate place yet as promised, ab reasons chahay kuch bhi houn and i will be getting a sharing room with other person in the same house as they all live in, laiken sachi this is not what i want, its not just about what i want or the kind of place i would like to live its buss I know myself, mujhey chain hi nhi aaye ga and jab tek mai thiek feel nahi kerounga obviously it gona affect my tendency to work and subsay ghalt baat yeh hai k abhi sochtay yehi khayal aaya k mujhey job k barey mai negative feelings kion horehi hain, shaed reason yehi hai k mai abhi tek settle nahi huwa, and jahan abhi reh reha hun wahan mujhey settle hona bhi nahi hai , i simply don't want to, reasons chahay hazaar houn, hard work, initial time, need to achieve something bla bla bla sachi baat to yeh hai k mai buht acha bhi nahi hun , kuch batoun per compromise hosakta hai laiken har baat per to nahi.

Haan maanta houn k yahan aanay ka decision mera hi tha, is company mai kaam kernay ka bhi where i knew k situation thori complex hogi coz mera boss mera dost hai laiken pata nahi probably i am just not clear about the situation and for a person like me, ambiguity is the worse scenario, I always used to plan for each and everything I have something in my mind, few fallback plans bla bla chahay kabhi amal kia ho ya nahi , isdafa when it was such a big decision of my life, I just trusted my mate...... okay im blank now, mai gila kerna hargiz nahi chahta and neither that gona help if i'll start blaming my own decisions, laiken i just HOPE k things go bit better.....better the way I want.

dooba doobai

2007-03-22T18:52:00.000+03:00

pata nahi, mujhey nahi lagta if i will be able to handle such pressure. I certainly do not get paid for all this non-friendly looks i get from few people or even from him. Khair kisi ko kia kehna, it was my own decision and aisa kehtay waqt mera hargiz yeh matlab nahi hai k im regretting it or nything like that its just that the way people work here is really different. Not that they dont follow work schedules or work timings or anything, but they just want to get results as quickly as possible, what ever it takes! which sounds insane to me atleast, kion k situation is complex, mai apnay dost k under kaam ker reha hun there is not much i can complain about, everything i was promised is still in plans but type of work they want from me is in reality...khair aisa bhi nahi hai k mai complain ker reha hun, they are running successful business and if you want to be part of that, you must follow their rules, as simple as this. Mai buss yeh keh reha hun k mmm koi mujhey dantay:S yeh sub say mushkil kaam hai, being reminded is something else and being told off is other , mere saath abhi to aisa kuch nahi hua, laiken ho bhi sakta hai, kabhi bhi koi bhi kehsakta hai, k aap hamarey kisi kaam k nahi :S khair ager aisa hua to it would be bad!

i really trust my friend and certainly know that k he is tryin his best to make me appear best valued for the company, usme ab mujhey khud mai kitni changes lani pariengi, yahan k working environment mai kitna dhalna parey ga yeh to waqt batayega, and abhi yehi kehunga k i need some time, this country is new for me ! if im asked to get quotation for something, i certainly should know where to head:S unfortunately Internet is not all that big and you cannot find everything there khair..................list is long

- Im writing this just in case I forget this situation I had to go through., hopefuly... ;)

BLOCKED

2007-03-14T17:19:00.000+03:00

How come Hi5 is blocked and Orkut isn't? And why the hell it is on first place! well again blogspot is blocked in Pakistan....what can we say huh

Basant-Valentines day Aur Hum

2007-02-14T14:55:00.000+03:00

kuch hi dino ki baat hai...

2007-02-10T04:42:00.000+03:00

Uff now as I have decided, got my tickets booked and purchased, sudden feeling of scariness has over taken my ambitions. I will be all alone, yet after all this years I never thought I would have to face such situation again but it is going to happen in few days time. I was looking around for accommodation details and as expected won't be easy to find decent sharing accommodation, especially in those countries. And the furnished flat prices are just way on the top what I expect to earn in first few months atleast. Oh Allah, please help me through this, as you have always did!, though I will have few friends to share time with, but those people who I havn't been in touch for sometime :^).

Jo accommodation mil rehi hai from company pata nahi kaisi hogi? mai wahan reh paonga k nahi? office kaisey aana jana hoga? kia khaonga? kia kerounga? office time k baad kia kerounga? Internet use kersakounga k nahi? Kia totally internet to lifeline nahi rehjayegi meri? because even the thought of it is scary for me at the moment. Yahan jaise sub hota hai, wahan waisey kuch nahi hota! so what would be expected from me either at work or outside mujhey kuch andaza nahi hai, and how I am going to adapt/adjust myself in to new/different lifestyle is what bothering me at the moment.

I think I should sleep now, hah the only thing remains the same everywhere:) hope it does! though my sleeping tendency is directly proportional to my bed-pillow arrangment which will take few nights to adjust for sure (lol useless info that was).

BTW people who might be wondering about all this, I am 'moving' to Dubai next week. Yes, in search of better future which lies in a decent job at the moment, and yes I have been offered a job, now lets see how it all works out to be:) Pray for me please:$

Bichari parveen shaakir :D

2007-02-03T16:22:00.000+03:00

shush

2007-01-23T02:52:00.000+03:00

Aaj kal to mai soch reha hun k bolna bilkul hi band kerdoun. Batien kerna, chat kerna, discussion kerna. Bari ajeeb si baat hai k koi meri baat manta hi nahi :'( , chahay baat politics ki ho, society ki, religion ki ya phir just choti moti relationships ki.
Bari ajeeb baat hai waise, isliye mai ziada chup rehna hi munasib samajhta houn. Kion k baat ko barhaogay to akser aisa hota hai k muta'zaad raa'yay rakhnay walo ko ziada qurbat naseeb nahi hoti. to isliye hopefuly only for time being :-#

Khush Kismet.

2007-01-13T03:39:00.000+03:00

Jee to aaj ka mo'zo hum khush kismati rekhtay hain. Yehan yeh batana lazim hai k aaj kal mai aik kitaab ka muta'la ker reha hun, jo kay Wasif Ali Wasif nai Dil darya samandar k naam say likhi hai, Khush kismati usi kitaab say lia gaya aik mo'zo hai.

Likhnay say pehlay mujhey kuch khayal aaya k aaj kal buht say log mujhsey sawal kertay hain k tum kion likhtay ho? Hum likhien to aakhir kia likhien?, kiske liye likhien?, kion-ker likhien. To mai yehi kehunga k likhna to insani jazbay ka izhaar hai. Dunya mai aisa koi shaks nahi jiski koi ra'ye na ho aur jahan per ra'ye hoti hai wahien per ikhtalaf-e-ra'ye bhi janam leta hai. To insani shaksiyat ki taraqi k liye yeh lazim amer hai k uski apni ra'ye ka aik muqaam ho, uski pukhtagi qay'em ki jaye, aur koi bhi ra'ye ki pukhtagi tab tek nahi jaanchi jasakti jab tek uska taqabli jaiza uski ikhtilaf-e-ra'ye say na kerlia jaye. Jahan tek mai samajhta hun, usko jan'nay kay liye expression zarori hai, apni ra'ye ka izhar, apni soch apnay khayalat ko bayan kernay k baad hi aap uska taqabli jaiza kernay ki salahiat pa saktay hain. Apnay ander ki awaz ko dabana sareehan ghalt hai, kion k awaz to aik fitri jazba hai, har terf awaz hi to hai, hum rahat-e sakoo'n k liye subha subha chehal qadmi ko niklien to chiryou'n ki chircharahat bhi to aik awaz hai, pani k kinaray bethay dobtay sooraj ka nazara kerien to lehroun ki awaz hamie sakoon deti hai, hamie koi apna pukarey to woh bhi aik awaz hai, awaz chahay dil ki ho ya zubaan ki, usko roka nahi jasakta. Awaz ka rishta hamaray saath hameesha say jurra hai, jaise k hamari soch.

To baat horehi thi k aakhir khush kismat kon? Hamaray zamanay mai, khaas kar aaj kal k dur mai bari afsurdagi kay saath yeh kehna perta hai k log us shaks ko khush kismat jantay hain jo dunya'wi haisiat mai unsay bartar hai. Hum kehtay hain k flaa'n shaks ko dekho, uske pass gari hai, achi naukri hai, khoobsorat biwi hai, banglay jaisa gher hai, -dekho kitna khush naseeb shaks hai !, jabkay Wasif ali wasif nai apni kitaab mai buht hi khobsorat baat ki, keh Khush kismat to woh hai jo apni kismet per khush ho, hum ager aaj in fani chezoun ki haisiat ko aik lamhay k liye bhool jayien to khush kismati ka raaz samajh mai aasakta hai. Jo kuch bhi kismet mai ho, usper khush rehna hi subsay bari khush kismati hai. Aur haan khush kismati aam tor per sirf kuch logou k liye bayan ki jati hai, to yakeen janiye khush kismati ka yeh falsafa bhi kuch hi log jaan patay hain. Khush kismati kabhi mehnat k beghair haasil nahi hoti jaisa k aksar socha jata hai. Uske liye marahil say guzarna parta hai, kabhi to aapko apnay nafs say jang kerna parti hai to kabhi rizq-e-halal k liye zamanay say. To yahan justujoo aur mehnat ki ehmiat ka ehsas hota hai .

Hamaray liye paighambaro'n (Prophets) say ziada to koi khush kismet nahi. To ager kareeb say dekha jaye to koi bhi aisa paighambar nahi jiski zindagi asaani say kati ho. Aik Allah k banday nai apnay betay ko khud dobtay huwey dekha, aur Allah say il'tija ki keh Ya merey Maula, merey betay ko bacha lai, to jawab aaya k jo beta teray aqeeday ko sahi nahi janchta, usko doob janay day. Aik paighambar ko saleeb (cross) per charha dia jata hai aur hamarey subsey mehboob shakseeyat Hazoor (S.A.W) per pathroun ki barish ki jati hai laiken woh phir bhi pathr phenknay waloun k liye dua hi kertay hain. To maloom yeh hua k khush naseebi jo hai woh asani say nahi payi jasakti, uske liye Khuda ki khush-noodi aur mehnat ka bara amal dakhal hai.

To baat ka ikhtatam kuch youn kertay hain keh, Khush naseeb insan woh hota hai jo apnay haal say khush ho, apnay halaat say khush ho, apni batoun say khush ho apnay khayalat say khush ho, aur sub say bher ker apni hayaat say khush ho.

from a movie...

2007-01-11T04:38:00.000+03:00

Mann meri nahi manta, mai mann ki nahi manti.
Ja re jhootey, viswaas kia tujh pe.

Pata nahi kion likha hai yeh yahan laiken obviously isliye likha k pasand aaya :D

~Eid Mubarak~

2006-12-31T00:35:00.000+03:00

Wishing all my sisters and brothers in Islam, a wonderful Eid-ul-Adha.
May this Eid be best of the days you had and may the blessings of this holy day be on you for the whole year to come. (Ameen)

aik din aur

2006-12-27T23:12:00.000+03:00

haan haan lagay reho buss, storian suno sabki, help them out and hota wohi hai hameesha jo hota hai ...baad mai koi yaad bhi nahi kerta :)

Laiken still we have to do what we have to...

Static.

2006-12-26T04:46:00.000+03:00

okay now i have dragged to read my old posts, which makes me feel like loads of things were goin on and haan i wrote pretty well i think, atleast mere liye coz perh ker buht kuch yaad aata hai and shaed blog isliye hi hotey hain :)

Abhi to meri life just static, na mai WOH reha hun and na KUCH AUR hosaka hun, kabhi log mujhey mulla keha kertay thay and kabhi kuch bhi nahi kehtay thaye....yani k buss younhi type banda. Khair yeh topic to mai nahi cherna abhi yeh mulla ki baat wahan say yaad aayi ka bhi dost k saath aik bhangra session hua hai :D after a long long time we kinda danced for no reason with load bhangra music on..and again it reminded me k I CANT DANCE tho i really want to :$ he was makin me real jeolous there laiken hah who cares all u need is confidence, confidence to have fun :D yeh thoery mai apni achay say azma chuka hun is bar jab behno ki shadi per Pakistan jana hua, nobody believed k he was the same tauqeer:D laiken buss kia hai, aap kero jo aap kerna chahho...:)

Haan baat horehi thi k static kinda life ki. Thiek hai phase hota hai life ka, aap ziada kuch nahi kersaktay is barey mai laiken still, mujhey buht darr lagta hai . Dar is baat ka k idleness really makes me lazy and most importantly effects my memory! lol haan hans lo sub laiken...im loosin wat i had learnt in uni all these years, i tend to loose my vocabulary,either it be urdu or english. Is baat ka inkishaaf bhi purani posts perhnay k baad huwa k buht si istilahien aisi istimaal ki hui hain maine jo mai ab nahi kerta? halaat ka asar hai ? company ka asar hai ? ya buss mai waise hi khatam horeha hun ....
Ager socha jaye to shaed i really need a point to stick now...need a proper job , or kehlein k stable life. So i can hold on to things or have worry to hold on to all that what i GOT , aagay kuch aur sochnay ki to baat hi alag hai ..Pata nahi job itni important kahan say hogyi aik dum k meri life k har hissa mutasir honay laga hai . Thiek hai shaed aisa hi hota hoga ya phir yehi mera attitude change honay wala hai ...aisa nahi hota hoga! u need to do something about it?

Acha jo bhi hai, aaj Christmas thi yahan, nothing much happened. Mujhey issey pehlay sister k paas hona chaiyeh tha Glasgow mai laiken meri ill-planning k bais aisa mumkin nahi hosaka. Umeed hai k ab Eid say pehlay wahan hounga inshAllah. Isdafa new year per london nahi jasakounga isi chakr mai . Ab sister bhi to hai na yahan, to mera kia pata kal ko kahan houn, so uske saath hi sahi Eid...:)
Kuch aur khaas serious to hai nahi likhnay ko...coz nothin serious happenin in life at all! lol or maybe im too careless to note that lol

Acha i'll try from next time to write in proper urdu, the very reason i started this part of my blog :)

yeh log -2

2006-12-24T03:47:00.000+03:00

hmmm YEH LOG post jo thi na kuch der pehlay likhi maine. Usper yeh hai k , well woh uska personal opinion tha and jahan tek baat thi k woh kia kerta hai woh aisa hi hai k woh uska personal fail hai, laiken he holds pretty good islamic opinion laiken zarori nahi k har koi uski poori terah apnay ooper implement kersakay, same goes with me buht kuch sochta hun kehta hun laiken sub kuch kerta nahi ya ker nahi sakta, behteri ki terf jana to aik different amr hai laiken daily routine life is bit different.

Aaj phir kafi lambi discussion hui, jisme again hudood ordinance, women rights, madrassa school system discuss huwey. Baat to buht lambi hai aur mai kuch likhna bhi nahi chahta khaas uske barey mai...so yeh post sirf is baat ki tardeed kernay k liye, jaisa k shaed last post say impression milreha tha mera us shaks k bilkul khilaaf hona to aisa hargiz nahi hai .

Subsay interesting discussion usme madrassa system per rehi, jisper Allah nai chaha to phir kabhi likhounga, aap sub k comments are more than welcome on any of these topics jo baad mai shaed proper post ki soorat ikhtayar kerlien :)

bye now

For those who havn't seen it yet :)

2006-12-22T22:32:00.000+03:00

Okay as promised Graduation pic album is up now, though I'm still waiting for some more pictures but for the moment I think this will do.

The album is shared at http://www.byphotos.com/album/4669172

Just click the slideshow and enjoy, please do comment :)

yeh log...

2006-12-16T05:10:00.000+03:00

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Its late saturday night. 2:10 mid of the night. The guy sitting next to me is chatting to his gf in denmark who is coming for xmas here! . The guy A is in his other room chatting on phone to someone...and my dost T-Pot is on phone as well downstairs.
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Likhna to kuch aur tha laiken yeh baat bhi maine zarori samjha likhna pehlay. Bus mujhey samajh nahi aati hamarey log hi aise kion hain. Aik terf to hum bari bari batien kertay hain...aisa hona chahiyeh waisa hona chahiyeh...Islam buht important hai, yeh western society aisi hai waisi hai..hamara culture kuch aur hai bla bla bla

Hum khud ko kion nahi dekhtay k hum khud kia kertay hain? kia naseehtien buss baqi sub k liye hoti hian. Ab jaise mere H (T-Pot) dost hain. Baqool unke kafi religious family say belong kertay hain and aik woh hi hain so zara liberal hain. Woh Hadood Ordinance k sakht mukhalif hain, k yeh log pakistan ko s**-free country banana chahtay hain and yeh sub america k kehnay per ho reha hai. Okay chalo mantay hain aap samajhtay hain k aurtoun ko itnay haqoq nahi denay chahiyeh, aaj bhi yehi baat horehi thi kehtay hain ji social haqoq honay chahiyeh..shaksi azadi honi chaiyeh laiken political azadi nahi...is baat ko mai kuch khaas samjha to nahi tha laiken farz yehi kertay hain k unka matlab hai k aurtoun ko khud k faisley kernay aur government waghera mai aanay ka haq nahi hona chaiyeh..jo k meri samajh say bahir hai k kion nahi.

Ab aap in sab batoun ka ehtaram bhi kersaktay hain k chalo someone thinks its all islamic and he strongly believes in that laiken... ab kal mujhey khench khench ker club laiker janay ki koshish horehi thi..k kal asian night thi so bari RONAQ hogi. :| ab kahan gyien parday ki woh batien? aurat ki haya and muslim ka farz? Kehta hain we wont drink nor dance buss aise hi shughal hi sahi.....mmm whats the point of clubbing then ^o) lol and dosri baat...jo k buht sakht baat hogi atleast un logo k liye jo hamarey muash'ray say juray hain: would you let your sister go clubbing late at night? not for dance with stranger neither to drink but just with friends..some halla gulla? NAHI NA? IF YES -> rest of the post is not for you :)

To standards to sub k liye brabar honay chaiyeh na, aap larkion say baat bhi kero...shughal bhi lagao fone per... aisi waisi bhi baat kerlo kabhi, laiken still call yourself consevative muslim? Ager aap kisi baat ko sahi samajhtay hain to woh sub k liye thiek honi chahiyeh na kay sirf aapke liye ya phir mardoun k liye!.

2.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dosra topic yeh discuss horeha tha usdin k he said yaar society mai zinda bhi rehna hai. Aaj kal paisa na ho to koi nahi pochta, aapka koi mukaam nahi hota society mai, log rishtey nahi detay pehlay gher dekhtay hain paisa dekhtay hain. Chalo maan li yeh baat k buht imp hai paisa, laiken mera kehna yeh tha k subse pehlay hamie decide kerna chahiyeh k what do we want from our lives? Mai kaha k dekho koi ager Phd insaan mujhey milta hai na to mai uski buht izzat kerta hun, kion k mujhey andaza hai k woh kia cheez hai, to usne kaha haan thiek hia hum log to samajhtay hain laiken bahir society mai jao ager uske paas paisa nahi hoga to uski phd ki degree koi nahi dekhay ga. To mai yehi kehna chahta tha k kia usne jo excelence achieve ki hai woh bekaar hai? woh to apni field mai aala insaan hai na..jo jo academic ya perhay likhay log hain unko to uski qadar pata hai na, and ager woh khush hai usi mai to buss kafi nahi hai kia?

Uska kehna tha nahi..aapko aisa hona chaiyeh k sub aapki kadr kerien aur sub janay aapko. Meray khayal say to aap subko kabhi khush nahi kersaktay, aap jis field mai bhi hain..try to be best in it buss baqi khair hai .

Baat phir yehan aaker ruki k we are muslims, mera emaan agli life per hai, mujhey bataya gaya hai k yeh zindagi imtehan hai, its bound to be difficult, so log chahay jo bhi kahien jaisi nazr say bhi dekhien aapko woh kerna chahiyeh jo aap samajhtay hain thiek hai and as a muslim aapka religion aapse maangta hai...hamesha aakhrat ki tayari kero, we certainly doesnt mean k yahan ki life mai kuch na kero but i believe sub kuch saath sath hosakta hai, aap Allah ko khush rekhien woh aapke liye behter keray ga, is dunya mai kuch nahi milta to aapka emaan hona chaiyeh k next life mai milay ga? kia yehi emaan nahi hai hum sub ka? phir zamanay ki , logoun ki, society ki kia fikr ?

Laiken uska kehna tha k aap yeh batien Hazoor(S.A.W) k zamanay ki ker rehay hain, aaj ki life different hai. Haan bhi maan k different hai, aaj hamie university jana perta hai, perhna likhna perta hai aik so aik logo say milna parta hai rizq kamanay k liye, aur buht sa kuch kerna parta hai laiken basics to wohi hian na, yeh to yaad hona chaiyeh k maksad kia hai hamari is life ka? Ager aap jaan bhooj ker apnay asal maksad say hat ker sirf logo ki khatir kuch ker rehay hain to mere khayal mai woh ghalt hai.

Aaj kal logo nai apni khushi ko logo ki acceptance and unki nigah mai apni izzat say jorr dia hai. Jabkay mere hisaab say aik parhay likhay insaan k liye uski apni field mai maharat, and as a muslim, how good is he in his religion, uske apni family k saath mamlaat, wife bachay behn bhai, yeh sub uski khushi ka baais honay chaiyeh na kay society in general.

Pata nahi baat to buht lambi hai and shaed yahan likhnay so kisi ko koi faida bhi nahi hona na mai apni baat samjha sakounga laiken buss hairat hoti hai logoun per jab woh kehtay kuch hain kertay kuch hain :)
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picsssss

2006-12-07T02:26:00.000+03:00

More pictures to follow soon; this is just the preview;)

grad and glad day it was :)

2006-12-07T02:21:00.000+03:00

graduation day tha aaj phir MSc is dafa thanksfuly buht maza aaya...it was wonderful .... zehn mai kuch last yr ki memories bhi thien k wahan aisa huwa tha waisa kia tha but it was fun overall coz i think mere dost kuch ziada tha isdafa...last yr mai ziada logo konahi janta tha so itwas kinda formal laiken isdafa to buss
khair the reason im writing this over here at the moment is k mujhey phir koi yaad aaya..yani k bari ajeeb baat hai ...koi mera acha dost tha last yr..we used to talk long on fone or chat and hairat ki baat hai havnt spoken to the person since months now...so buss yehi yaad aaya k jab mai uni say wapis aareha tha raat ko ...freezing sardi thi ustime and i was waiting for bus and saw the person buss abhi yaad aaaya socha likh loun :)

something i wanted to share:)

2006-12-02T19:31:00.000+03:00

dosrey blog mai pehlay hi buht kuch hai socha is time yahan bhi paste kerna chahiyeh , buht funny clip hai, i recommend all of you to spare sometime to load it if you cant see in a first click, hope u enjoy

boring

2006-12-01T20:41:00.000+03:00

aaj pata nahi kuch ziada hi bore horeha hun, bore kehun ya lazy kehun ya pata nahi, shaed mausam ka asar hai ya phir is bechaini ka sabab bhi koi anjana taluq hai kia kehun pata nahi i have tried certain things to get away frm this feeling, tried to chat to those ppl i dont really do much, specially on yahoo :) and aik dost say voice chat bhi ki kafi der and koi kaam shaam bhi nahi ker reha aise hi net surf laiken still ajeeb si feeling hai ... darasal kuch samajh nahi aarehi k aagay kia hoga, very unpredictable phase of my life, kabhi kabhi buth kuch sochnay ko hota hai and kabhi demagh bilkul hi khali rehta hai .
stupid orkut per kafi time zaya horeha hai tho communities nahi chal rehian neither do i scrap alot laiken phir bhi khair abhi soch reha hun k ama ji ko fone kerna chahiyeh laiken unko bhi kuch khaas batanay like to hai nai kuch isliye pata nahi dekhtay hain . aisa kion horeha hai :S

wow what a year that was.

2006-11-24T23:39:00.000+03:00

uff its already an year since i got graduated and my next graduation day is comin soon again ! wow and uff time has really travelled fast, the time i was writing my blog last year about graduation day and then puttin up my pics on blueyonder website i never thought where would be next year and how it gonna be like but hey i have done it and Alhamdullilah done in a good way, i got better results than i anticipated so all, and lets hope and see what next year holds me because things are getting bit tough now...job hunt and other pratical life things :S khair chalo will see....6th dec is my graduation day :)

well said shezzy :D

2006-10-24T14:32:00.000+03:00

"Kisi baat ka ilm hona aur usko tasleem kerna do mukhtalif batien hain ".

JObbbbbbbbb

2006-10-08T12:50:00.000+03:00

Lo g betha hun idher, 78% bored hun abhi. Ji yeh aik local mobile telecom ka call centre hai and mai yahan call centre ki internal communications support kerta hun, well kerta to nahi hun laiken supposedly yeh kaam hai mera. Abhi to betha cisco ip telephony ki documentation perh reha hun. Yeh log kehtay hain k it will take atleast 6 months before i can actually work on the system, kafi complex system hai baqool inke but once aapko yeh aajaye ga, u'll have unique expertise as this system is of unique status in the region...bla bla bla :|

Thiek hai mai aisa hi kuch kerna chahta tha and sub say behr ker mai Pakistan mai job kerna chahta tha but iska matlab yeh to nahi na k mujhey day and night shifts ki hell mai daal dia jaye! ab yahan obviously call centre is open 24 hrs and they need people to support them as well all this time so we work on a shift basis , morning...evening or night and what could be worse, u have to work on Eid as well !!!! nahi yeh Pakistan nahi hosaktaaaa:'(

Ab pata nahi mujhey, yeh job aaj chorni hai ya next week, laiken yeh decided hai k i never wanted my first proper job to be like this:(. Ab laiken yahan hain bhi to sub O&M (operations n managment) ki jobs so yeh to ab vendor/equipment specific job hi hogi aur uske liye isterah ki training say to guzarna hi parey ga...perso say 350 slides ki aik file bus perhta hi ja reha hun..ab kal say kuch labs bhi start kerunga...mujhey yakeen nahi aareha k mai sunday morning job per betha hun :( khairrrr

baqi yehi hai k jis say bhi milta hun woh yehi kehta hai k tum wapis kion aagye? yahan kia hai, koi jobs nahi hain tumne degree ki hai tumhai wahan hi rehna chahhiyeh :S itna farq hai na soch mai subki laiken i wont blame soch to aapki circumstances say develop hoti hai ...wahan thaye to kehtay thaye pak jaker hi job keriengye and wahien rehiengye...yahan dekho to har koi isi try mai hai k kisi terah bahir nikal jaye.

Mai wapis ja reha hun ya nahi ?: Interesting question. subsay pehlay dekho jo kismet mai likha ho and ALlah keray jo bhi ho behter hi ho. Baqi yeh hai k abi kahien aur bhi try kertay hain phir job k liye ager kahien behter baat bani..job jaisi bhi ho pay and timings achi honi chahiyeh! to i might stay otherwise go back and try your luck again!!! i can stay for abit more there on my student visa yet so no harm in applying.... baqi phir dekha jaye ga :^)

A shair from DM Digital

2006-08-07T04:01:00.000+03:00

Khud hi tumhai chak-e-gireban ka sha'oor aajaye ga,
Tum Aa to jao wahan tek, Jahan hum aagye hain.

2006-08-01T03:28:00.000+03:00

I wish i had someone to speak with at the moment. There are few people might be willing to talk or listen to me but i dont want to but again probably making the wrong judgement, may be i shoudn't speak to anyone, shaed koi bhi is like nahi ya phir abhi mujhey woh sub yaad aareha hai jo log mujhey kehtay thaye and i used to ignore them thinking im the only one thinking best for me laiken it all turned out to be wrong. I feel helpless and SAD and pata nai kia kia, failed in this matter as well, i need to learn from it *-) laiken i know i wont, i wont able to, i just trust people i can't do anything about it, hope things get better from now.. :)

Kahani

2006-07-22T19:19:00.000+03:00

Jo jaan jaatey hain, chor jatey hain,
Sitam yeh zamanay say akser hojatey hain,
Taaluq ka naazuq dhaaga toot'ta hai,
Jo hotey hain apnay, anjaan hojatey hain.

2006-07-15T04:04:00.000+03:00

mujhey dosroun ko itni instructions denay ki itni aadat kion hai :@ :@ kia mai khud buht acha hun? :(

Halaat

2006-06-28T18:44:00.000+03:00

Nikli mai pehn k tere payar wala chola,
Ek dehaktay, barastey, sehra mai.
Bhatakti rehi mai charoun aur,
Dil ki galion kay sairab mai.
Ik Ik jhonka nishter mehsos huwa,
Aur tu bhi to tha shamil har ki waar mai.
Chalti houn, theharti houn, sisakti houn,
Kuch bhi to nahi reha ab mere ikhtayar mai.
Kehtay thaye mujhey jo log apna,
Koi bhi to nahi paas ab in halaat mai.

kia pakistan mai yehi horeha hai aaj kal?

2006-06-21T04:17:00.000+03:00

Haasil Ghaat

2006-06-14T18:51:00.000+03:00

Falah, Taaluq, jazbaat, rishtay aur azaadi, meray khayal mai aaj kal is badaltay dour mai, 'its a HAPENING topic', in tamam 'terms' say ya to log rishta jor rehay hain ya tor rehay hain aur jo baqi hain woh kisi na kisi terah apnay risht0un ko, rawayaat ko, naye dour ki azaadi k saath nathi kernay per tulley huwey hain. Faisla kerna mushkil hai, buht mushkil hai, sochnay ki baat to yeh hai k aakhir kon hai jo kaamyaab hona nahi chahta? har lehaz say, har kisi ki nazar mai aap apnay aapko behtreen dekhna chahtay ho, laiken itnay sub insano mai, itni tamam sochoun mai yeh mushkil kaam hai, kis baat ko aap kaamyaabi ka 'criteria' banao. Banu Qudsia ki likhi hui kitaab, "Haasil Ghaat" perh reha houn aaj kal, achi hai buht say mazameen ko chera gaya hai, buht si batien hain, buht si naseehtien hain laiken sawaal phir yehi uthta hai k kon kehta hai jo yeh kehna chah rehi hain wohi thiek hai ?:P Khair jaisa bhi hai , 2 safhay is kitab say 'paste' ker reha hun, kuch hijoun ki ghalti zaror hai laiken umeed hai k akser urdu perhnay waley uski zehni islaah kernay k kabil houngay.

Apkay ismai kahi gayi batoun k barey mai kia khayalat hain, 'comments' mai zaror likhiye ga :D.

sub mufadaat ki jang hai

2006-06-01T16:41:00.000+03:00

hum roz aise logoun say miltay hain jinse milna nahi chahtey, aise log humse miltay hain jo humse milna nahi chahtay, hum woh kaam kertay hain jo kerna nahi chahtey, yeh sub kia hai ? meray khayal say to har koi apne mufaad ki khaatir jeeta hai.

in dino

2006-05-23T19:43:00.000+03:00

ab is sey ziada kia hosakta hai, EXAMS!! woh bhi itnay mushkil ::( shaed k meri university life k last exams and hameesha ki terah wohi stress laiken i want better results than hamesha!! aur to aur computer ka monitor urr gya kal ab woh bhi masla ooper say car ki MOT bhi expire hai woh bhi masla, gher ki keys bhi gum hogyi hain aik dafa phir mr F ki mehrbani say!! and job bhi gyi coz mujhey time chhaiyeh tha exams k liye and 2 week say ziada woh off day nahi rehay thaye so, khair iska to baad mai dekha jaye ga abhi digital communications 3 din say perh rehay hain,
uff uff uff BPSK QPSK M-ary QAM aur pata nahi kia kia, BER SER aur bhi itna kuch nikalna hai in sub k liye , itnay sub tutorial k questions to mujhse attempt bhi nahi horehay pata nahi exam kaise hoga:( last semester mai to phir bhi andaza tha k exam paper kaisa hoga, is dafa 2 modules new hain bilkul so last yr papers are not that helpful aur uske baad abhi PGDip report bhi to deni hai jo start nahi ki abhi tek :'(
dekhtay hain kia hota hai :)

2006-04-24T19:13:00.000+03:00

dhondoun to kahan , shaed k ab woh shaks, woh lamha woh haqeqat mere buss mai nahi, laiken ik ehsas zaror hai jo waqt-an fa-waqtan kuch yadoun ko, us guzray pal ko, us soch ko, us yaad ko phir samnay laa khara kerta hai, bhaagoun to kahan? haan phir wohi waqt, jo sub kuch sahi kerdeta hai , pareshanio ko dur, sochoun ko badal deta hai. uff where im headin with this now.....stressssss plz go away lol

scotland-2

2006-04-24T02:15:00.000+03:00

Some beautiul pictures of East Whitburn, where I went in scotland.

Courtesy of : Mr Sher Ahmed

scotland...

2006-04-11T02:42:00.000+03:00

ji to aik dafa phir jana hua wahien per, ji kahan? woh hmm

M8(A8), jnc 4,
West lothian
Scotland

haan kafi kareebi rishtey dar rehtay hain wahan per, pehlay bhi 1-2 dafa jana huwa, last time 'bari' eid per gaya tha and abhi woh baji ki 'wedding-party' thi , jiska sandies last week wed-thurs ko hi mila tha, so zara jaldi mai tayari kerna pari laiken alhamdullilah all was good and safe. Gaya to yehi soch ker tha k pata nahi kin kin logoun say milna parey and waise bhi sachi mai mujhey party-plan ka kuch khaas andaza nai tha, even k i was kind of undecided about clothes at the last moment (ok im so girlish now but im really bad at it) but khair woh to ker hi lia tha kuch, saturday ko tasali say gher se nikla, jaise k instructions thien;) took A65 straight to jn 36 of M6 heading towards Kendal in Lake district, buht hi khobsorat rasta hai , ajeeb baat hai k jab bradford say nikla to achi khasi dhoop thi, koi 10 mile k baad barf parney lag gyi:S toba hai , khair baat batanay ki yeh hia k haan ji i was lost again! i took off a junction before i was supposed to* ( as per usual circumstances) laiken mera MSN MAPS yehi keh reha tha k jnc 12 say utar jao and head towards A71, buss mai nikal para ..woh bi buht payara road tha...chota sa...hilly area...mind it im talkin about scotland here! and weather was nice as well laiken wohi hua i stress barhta gya k im on wrong way coz mujhey ab woh road nahi mil rehay thaye jo milna chahiyeh thaye.
So i headed towards a big town then..LANARK was its name..pehlay to kabhi nahi suna tha laiken socha shaed wahan say kuch andaza ho, wahan say ghomtey ghomtey phir M8 k sign nazr aaye, yeh road kafi der A8 bhi kehlati hai, and its a bridge between Edinburgh and Glasgow, two major cities of scotland and mujhey iske middle mai kahien jana tha, khair signs to nazr aagye laiken phir bhi socha k shaed mai local roads say hi puhnch jaon, so wahan aik petrol station per ruka, bahir nikla to aik decent sa shaks ATM say money laiker aareha tha..maine usi ko rok lia, aur kaha k mujhey wahan jana hai , im kinda lost, pehlay to ussey samajh na aayi, kuch meri nakis engraizi, kuch uska scottish accent, khair yehi tay hua k M8 ko jaya jaye, wahan say Edinburgh ki terf and then i should see signs on motorway only, kuch hi der mai S ka msg aagya k kahan hi abi tek aaye kio nahi coz kafi der pehlay mai kehchuka tha k its kjust 40 miles left aur woh 40 miles hi nahi khatam horehay thaye, kafi ghooom ghuma ker phir motorway per puhncha and aakhir kaar gher. wahan buss diner ready hi tha.. and they kinda was waitin for me..ab to bhool bhi gya k kia tha khnay mai laiken kafi nice tha:D ziada khaya nahi gya coz sir ghoom reha tha 4 hr drivin say.

Next day community hall mai party thi, pehlay jaaker sub decorate kia..i was the baloon guy:S made bunchs and tied to all the tables and stuff khair acha tha sub, aik aunty milien. kehti hain pata hai mai kon houn..mai kaha ji abhi buss kisi nay bataya aap woh hain..kehti hain nahi mai tumhari ami ki class fellow hua kerti thi and uski saheli bhi..buht pakki! dil mai socha k kiti paki saheeli thi jo ami nay aaj tek zikr nahi kia..laiken khair nvm

Phir gher aajer uncle say discussion hui k mujhey wapis kab jana hai, majbori batayi to kehnay lagey tuesday subha nikal jana job tek time aram say gher puhnch jao gye. maine tab to sir hila dia laiken baad mai khyal aya k hain ji ..3-4 hrs drive then job na baba na, so aaj subha monday ko plan ban gya sub bachoun ka Glasgow Science Centre dekhnay ka, socha k acha moka hai glasgow ghomnay ka, S ko bhi uni jana tha, socha chaltey hain, pehlay museum gaye, mai and S jaldi aagye coz usko uni jana tha..Glasgow uni dekhi kisi had tek..kafi filmi style uni hai..cooooool lol buss phir baqi kuch khaas nahi..wapis aakhaer khana wana and salam dua and ijazat and nikal para:)

:)

2006-03-24T02:39:00.001+03:00

bad me , yes me bad, i want to smile but i cant, i want to breath and all i can do is fake, i like to be happy and make people happy around me,i fail and i fail again, it happens to me every year, may be thats what they call self development? or is it just me again? all that money i have lost in recent weeks and the weeks to come i can see, the worries are increasing and solutions are getting to nil, may be all of us just dont work logically here, and well who knows if the logic is the best way to follow, haan i made mistakes and well there is no way out, but hold on, lemme think, whats the lesson? isnt it the same lesson i learnt a year ago? what was that again? dont TRUST, is it? but how come it is always me who trust people around and get knacked straight into head and people doing all sorta wrong stuff get away with it, oh right damn they all clever gits aye, im the dumb one right:( no need to feel sorry for myself! its just me :) have to live with it and pray...yeah pray:)

happy work day

2006-03-23T02:29:00.000+03:00

aaj kafi maza aaya waise...training is bit fun, its not all like university where u just have to LISTEN,,,kafi interactive the scene rehta hai roz. Today was selling session, yani k bata rehay thaye k wat people really buy for, needs necessities, luxury and what do they look for, so actually how to market something.

so hamie 3 teams mai divide kerdia..5 ppl each. our product was FIRST AID KIT, yani ab yeh bhi koi bhala bechta hai laiken still had to do it. Fortunately acha group mila, we just had 20 mins to complete, so aik sheet per humne plasters, thermometer and sub chezien banayee dosri per first aid kit ki pic banayi and uske features likhay, what is it about, why u should have it and all that.

we did bit of role play, one girl had her a blade cut, so and S came runing along with first aid kit, it was actually khali dabba of pens and usme paper ki patti bana ker rekhi thi maine:D so woh di usko and subko woh pics wali sheet dekhayi and then we went to more formal presentation, and guess what at the end we had voting where we were not allowed to vote our own group..and we still won! and we are promised some gifts for that 2moro, hope we get something more than chocolates this time:D

uske baad humne apnay dosrey groups combine kiye, based on products we will be dialing after, our is BCC( balance cancellation cover), usper presentation likhi to hia ..with features and benefits laiken woh kal keriengye so should me exciting:)

new job

2006-03-17T15:31:00.000+03:00

haan ji to new job start hochuki hai, aaj to first week ka last day hai, acha chal reha hai sub kuch, sara week training mai hi guzr gaya and damn only one more week to go then on to the field!

kafi tension chal rehi thi is mamlay mai, stupid last job mai manager hi nahi achi thi, i would call it racist even laiken issey ziada favourism ka chakr tha, shifts hi nahi mil rehi thien, so Allah ka shukr hai yahan hogya kaam laiken hai to waise part time job hi and nothing much to do with "formal" studies laiken phir bhi working for GE Money should count something. itna kuch bataya is week mai jo mujhey kabhi pata hi nahi tha company k barey mai, GE one of the biggest companies in world, most admired workplace and the first company to get on DOW JONES index.

woh sub to thiek hai and mujhey kia jo bhi hai :d 5-9 job hia...direct sales they call it, so dekho kaisa chalta hai sub, weekly/monthly targets achieve kerna houngay, pata nahi kia banay ga, baqi training mai kafi maza aaya, group acha hai hamara, sub hi friendly hain, kafi indians bhi hain so maza aata hai baat kernay mai, D meri group mai hai, so uske saath kafi chitchat chalti hai, hai to woh Sikh but samjhti apnay aapko shaed Aish. hai so LOL anyway , kal bhi hamara 7 ppl group jeeta tha aik lil quiz mai, got chocholates and lollypops for that:D but aaj serious type assessment hai, abhi jummay k baad aaker kuch perhta hun, sara week kuch sahi say nahi hosaka, subha subha uni shaam ko job woh bhi training sorta, neend bhi nahi poori hui:( abhi pain killer li hai kuch headache suppress kernay ko, looking forward to this weekend buht ziada!

waise to is week poster presentation bhi thi..jiski KAFI tension thi but Alhamdullilah all went okay, mera assessor hi koi Mathematician tha:d so he wasnt that interested in technical bits of it rather kehta hai k batao is project ka hamie kia faida hoga as an individual, all i said was, u need an extra card in ur computer to support this technology and he goes: one more! heheh khair was okay, ab baqi stupid aik aur kafi tension hai, i have written to trading standards about it, dekhtay hain kia banta hai .

yeh kia!

2006-02-26T01:17:00.000+03:00

yeh kia hogya hai mujhey:( kabhi aisa to na tha! yeh mai kia ker reha hun? khud ko negate? apnay hi banaye principles ko oppose? khud say larayi hai ya zamanay say ya apne mazhab kay?

yaad hia na mai in sub kuch thiek nahi samajhta! hum to Muslims hai na, musafir khana hai yeh dunya , phir bhi in mai behlnay ko dil kerta hai ? phir bhi woh sub kernay ko man kerta hai jo sub kertay hain? jabkey yaad hai na tumhai Muslim is always an ODD, it has to be like that and it is...yaad hai why u kept beard? coz Prophet did so, and he did so to differentiate oneself from others...from the people around us, to ab mujhey kia horeha hai ? nahi yaar there is no GAP YEAR in life i know thats what u are thinking at the moment..k haan aik waqt aaye ga jab sub chordounga..back to old tauqeer laiken woh shaed abhi dur hai, shaed im too lonely over here thats why i need ppl around me, laiken it was my decision to live here na, cant complain Allah for that and its not an excuse, may Allah turn my measureable sins into His unmeasurable mercy and help me turn back or better...whatever is good for me :(

I do LIKE some of the PEOPLE around me but the way is wrong na and i know that, and this music stuff, once i said i'll leave everything, i even did up to some extent, cinema jana bilkul chor dia tha but then that 5.1 speaker system in my room and loud music? mai pagal houn bilkul then that wave of internet downloads.... kaise yeh sub justify kerunga:( jabsay pakistan say aaya hun abhi tek usual routine per nahi jasaka balkay sub kuch bher hi reha hai ..msn contacts, chatrooms..fone calls!

yes i do need to do something about it and that would be soon inshAllah. I know my religion and my beliefs are not that weak k sirf meray actions say unki sanctuary per koi shak kia jasakey..its probably just me. Hope things get better soon and thats what we all have to try :)

Toba aur Gunah....

2006-02-08T23:55:00.000+03:00

Raja Gidh-1

2006-02-03T04:03:00.000+03:00

Yaar yeh bhi kia story hai? Roz perhnay bhi beth jata hun aur buht jald thak bhi jata hun, aaj socha tha k kal uni nahi hia siliye aram say perhunga laike abhi 30 pages hi perhay hai phirse and buss aik dum mind blank:| kuch samajh nahi aareha

Ab khudhi socho, mai 131 pages perh chuka hun aur mujhey sahi say characters k naam bhi yaad nahi? shaed k woh itnay important hain bhi nahi shaed...

Writer kehna kia chahti hai? Chalo first person ko Mr X kehletay hain, student hain janab, sociology kay, class fellow thein Seemi Shah and Aftab but, yeh aftab Mr X k room mate bhi rehchukey hain, ager sada lafzoun mai lia jaye to wohi old kahan hai, aftab ko seemi say payar hojata hai, aftab k gher waley nahi mantay, woh studies chor ker shadi kerleta hai apni cousin say and interesting yeh k Mr X ko seemi say muhabbat hai laiken woh kabhi keh nahi saka.

Ab uski koshish hai k seemi k paas hojaye woh kisi na kisi terah, seemi ko bhi saharay ki zarorat hai laiken woh aftab k payar mai itni pagal hai k usko aur kuch dekhayi hi nahi deta aur yehi cheez usko X k kareeb lay aayi go k woh janti thi k yeh Aftab ka room mate reha hai.

Ab chakr yeh hai k Mr X jo k shuru mai buht hero bantay thaye yani k class mai ethics or social responsibilities ki batien kertay thaye, yahan aaker sub kaam kharab. Woh janta hai k woh jo ker reha hai woh ghalt hai, woh us larki ki emotional codition ka faida utha reha hai , laiken at the end of day batanay ki koshish yehi ki gyi hai shaed k muhabbat mai buht taaqat hoti hai aur usko panay k liye insan kisi kaidey kanoon ka paband nahi hota. Ab jahan aaker mai bore huwa hun woh yehi hai k woh har time uske khayaloun mai khoya rehta hai, usne usko physicaly to pa lia hai laiken woh janta hai k woh seemi usko kabhi muhabbat nahi kersakti , woh aik aisi larki hai jo zidagi mai sirf aik dafa payar kerti hai and shaed k jo apnay gham ko chupanay k liye apne aap ko zaleel or ruswa kerna chahti hai, isliye raat bher iske saath bagh-e-jinah mai guzarti hai...jo bhi hai

X is just so stupid, aisa thori na hota hai, ager usko seemi ko pana hi tha, window of oppurtunity ka to har kisi ko intezar hota hai, to proper way say pata....laiken baat wahien aajati hai k proper kia hai aur kia nahi ? alag behs hai yeh sub to, baat thi muhabbat ki so abhi yeh gardish chal rehi hai, dono apni zindagi ko aagay bherhana chah rehay hain, jobs k liye shaed apply kerdia hai, laiken seemi ki har baat Aftab per aaker rukti hai and baqool uske haan naam yaad aagya: Mr Qayumm!, k ab uske under ka qayum mar chuka hai, isliye woh jab seemi k saath hota hai to apnay aapko aftab khyal kerta hai, coz shaed seemi bhi yehi chahti hai aur is terah qayum ki khawahish bhi poori hoti hai .

Insan kitna behiss hota hai, kitna selfish, apni ana ko apni haqeqat ko apni khawahishoun k tabay kernay ki koshish mai juta rehta hai, aur yeh hota hai maine dekha hai. log badal jatay hain, ya to apnay ird gird logoun ko khush kernay ki khatir ya phir koi waqti faida hasil kernay ki khaatirm khair probably just a story:) aik aur buht interesting baat jo Aftab nay kahi thi woh yeh thi k insan k paas zindagi mai buht say rastay hotey hain;

yeh uski marzi hai k woh konsa bhi rasta chunay, rasta apni marzi ka ho ya na ho, usme khushion aur ghamoun ka tarazo hameesha braber rehta hai ( shaed woh yahan KISMET ko refer ker reha tha ), aur seemi ko chorney ki reason bhi yehi thi k aaj yeh samajhta tha k aajki uski khushi kisi aur k gham ka baa'es ban rehi hai ( uski maa ), aur shaed ko unko bhi gham miliengye jo us khushi ko khatam kerdiengye isliye koi extra justujo kernay ki zarorat hi nahi, jo jaisa hota hai hono do..interesting:P

aur yeh bi baat thi k insaan jo bhi faislay kerta hai woh uski personality per dependent hotey hain, aik aise kirdaar per jo k aik khaas mahool mai pala bara hota hai aur uski soch aur uske faisle us mahool ka nateeja hotey hain, isliye unko koi badal nahi sakta...laiken uski batien kafi ambigious thien k jaise faisley life mai koi ehmiyat hi na rekhtay houn?

chalo kher aagay dekhtay hain kia hota , laiken frankly speaking qayumm ka seemi say obsession ab interesting hargiz bhi nahi reha, hope k aagay kuch aur bhi perhnay ko milay ga :)

15 park avenue...

2006-01-31T03:30:00.000+03:00

abhi kuch der pehlay maine aik movie dekhi, u dont get to see this kinda stuff everyday. Such a strange phenomenon writer wanted to potray, aik larki ki kahani thi, the so called illusionist, pata nahi kuch specific name tha uski bimari ka jo woh lay rehay thaye, but well it was quite touching.

kabhi kabhi muhjey lagta hai k mujhey buht kuch kerna hai buht kuch kehna hai buht si aise batien hain jo mai soch ker bhool gya hun ya keh nahi paya ya pata sirf is waja say k shaed log kia kahiengye, jaise k mai pehlay aik post mai kehchuka hun k mai school mai yeh socha kerta tha shaed koi khuda ho hi na, shaed yeh kisi genius banday nay hi idea develop kia ho, so sub log kisi aise cheez say darien jo unhoun nay kabhi dekhi hi na ho so woh kabhi koi bura kaam na kerien but well who was i suppose to tell all this? discuss these ideas that time? sometimes i really miss my dad, kaash k woh abhi meray paas hotey and u would have discussed so many things, and well phone per to am not a good conversationalist at all and na hi meray aba ji ziada baat kertay hain and jab hum gher per hotey thay to so many other pressures, behnay kia sochiengi ager maine koi ulti baat ki, dad ka mind bhi kabhi free nahi hota k woh koi aur baat sun sakien khair its a long story, aaj jo baat mujhey kerni hai woh is movie k barey mai hai and meri ik aur soch k barey mai jo k shaed maine apni bari sis say bhi aik dafa ki thi, u seems to take bit of interest in what i had to say or think laiken i never got encouraging support in this matter tho,

Anyway, i used to think, think kehlo ya mera idea tha, it was early school days, we used to have wall charts in our classrooms, full of colours and shapes and all dat. So buss aik din maine yehi socha k yeh jo red apple mai dekh reha hun, kia yeh apple hi hai ya kuch aur shape hai ? kia iska colour red hai ya kuch aur hai ? mai isko red kehta hun just coz mujhey bataya gaya hai k yeh red hai ? kia jaisa mujhey yeh dikhta hai ,,dosroun k liye bhi aisa hi hai ? meri teacher ko bhi red hi nazar aata hoga? ya uske demagh mai red colour kuch aur jaisa hoga? ya phir woh shaed us colour ko kuch aur hi kehti ho laiken meray kaan usko hameesha red suntay houn?? wiered haina? i know it is, thats why never spoke about it.

And its interesting that other people think something on similar lines as well, jaisa k is movie mai woh larki thi, jisko in common terms log bimar kehsaktey hain coz woh khud say batien kerti thi, usko aik aise gher ki talash thi jiska address hi exist nahi kerta tha, pehlay to doctor nay aik logical reasoning paish ki, k jo kuch woh kerti hai kehti hai uska reason uski past life hai , aik jaga per usne us larki ki bari sis say yeh sawal kia: Kay woh dekho table, aur batao usper kia para hai ? Usne kaha flower vass hai and kuch phool hain usme, to dr kehnay laga what if i say k woh vass nahi table lamp hai, to kehti hai k i wont believe it, to usne keha k what if everybody in this room says its a lamp instead of you, ....

Anyway i dont wana conclude anything over here, it is something we dont wana talk about, and even if we do, we aint gona go far with it, i just know that. Hua kia end per ? woh usi jaga gyi jahan woh samajhti thi k uska gher hai , logoun ki nazroun say kuch dur gyi, usko woh gher nazar aaya, uske bachay nazar aaye and woh wahan chali gyi, jab baqi sub ko khyal aaya k shez missing to usey dhondhnay lagay, laiken ofcourse woh gher unki hisaab say kabhi exist hi nahi kerta tha so they never found her.

To matlab kia hua iska? jo hamie nazar aata hai woh hosakta hai kisi aur ko na aata ho? aur jo kisi ko nazar aata hai hosakta hai woh hamie na aata ho? yeh bhi kehsaktay hain k har kisi ka apna perspective hota hai zindagi mai har cheez ko define kernay ka, khair im getting into deeps now, better leave it for someother time:)

bongi

2006-01-19T01:37:00.000+03:00

abhi khanay khatey huwey soch reha tha k mai pehlay msn per kitnay nicks change kia kerta tha and most of the time khudi say nick rekha kerta tha but ab aisa nahi hai , well things change i know.
Abhi sochtay sochtay kuch aisa socha;

Forgive me,Forget me do what ever u want,
All i want is to make u happy!

pata nahi kia hia yeh, kis k liye hai , kahan fit hota hai, sahi say kuch hai bhi k nai but just dil mai aay so likhdia:)

Finally i went

2006-01-02T23:35:00.000+03:00

well it was friday, maine txt kia 'baji' ko, just to find out how shez doin. Mujhey andaza tha hi k she wont be working coz jin dino yeh tragedy hui, woh training per thien and certainly woh un dino to job per nahi jasakien houngi and well if u miss training days u know... anyway she'll be back to work in couple of weeks hopefuly.

haan to maine txt kia, unka fone aagya, just haal chaal pocha, job ka pocha kehti hian mai gher per hi hoti hun aaj kal no problem, so mai kaha mai aaj aanay ki koshish kerunga. Laiken hua kuch youn k phir saturday ko london janay ka program ban reha tha, mera dost hai na wahan, my best friend woh bhi pakistan ja reha hai next week so socha k ho hi aaon, kia pata next yr kon kahan hota hai :) khair so friday ko samnay say dost aagya, socha k aaj ka day full utilize kerna chahiyeh study k liye so kuch din relax kerna hai.

So usi k saath kafi time hogya, mai usko kaha bhi nahi k mujhey jana hai kahien, phir about 9 bajey maine txt kerdia k mai shaed nahi aasakoun coz its quite late now, unka txt aaya k i was hoping k aaj mai aaonga, so finally mai socha k jana to hai hi, so chalo ji, about 9:30 wahan puhncha laiken i wasnt quite ready for it:S darwaza khula, mai pocha kia haal hai, kehti hain , what do you think how should i be? ops, mera to kaam wahien hogya, anyway phir ander bethay, unki ami aayien salam dua li, ab mai unse kia baat kerta:S kabhi aisi situations per gaya hi nahi mai alone, mai to hameesha kuch na bolnay waloun mai say hota hun, i remember k jab mera phupa ki death hui thi, couple of years back, to mai apnay cousin say kuch bhi nahi keh saka tha buss gaya tha wahan and chup khara reha tha although k woh mera buht acha dost hai.

Anyway bus yehi kaha k aunty buht dukh hua sun ker, khair buss kafi dair betha wahan, buss yehi batien hoti rehien k kia hua kaise huwa, well meray paas sachi mai ziada kuch kehnay ko tha nahi , zahir hai ab aap kisi ka loss to feel nahi kersaktay na and everyone is mature enough to understand k wat do and wat not to , so khair pata nahi i know im confused on this matter but i hope i did well i mean did what i had to :) khair it was a short stay, but the difficult one, may Allah give them relieve and unki sub mushkiloun ko asaan keray, (Aameen)

Meri Dunya

Changes

After wedding.

No

Emotions, sharing and shapes.

Good bye home*

Life phases

The Mountain

Pepsi with ice

Your dream vacation?

Lost of memories

Hamari generation

Blog window

Who's the funniest person you know?

Okay.. how do u do post this on your blog ? Instructions please? :D

Unknown phone call

Post after holiday.

Tagheyyur.: Ager Mohammad Rasool Allah kisi din mery mehman ba...

Vacation ended

tell me something you never told anyone before

Vacations post 1 - 2010

dark chocolate or me? *wink*

Meri Kahani: Time for a new beginning

I am not complaining

One week passed,

vacation post - 1

sleepin disorder

sleepin disorder

Namkeen chai.

Back to basics.

okay i cant think of a topic...m sleepy!

Maa...

Its bad..

Chocolate cake

17th Feb 2009

Lipikar.com

Dunya

expectations?

last two weeks!

In kuwait

was my bday few days back ..

interesting hunna

Good bye dubai...

~Happy Independence Day~

Match...

Halfdate.com

Finally..

Sad Day...

21 may 2008

mai and meri yeh job ..

yet it happens still ...

Haha this is interesing!

sometimes...

buss aik post

opss

confused??

nikamma blogspot

Tuhfa

dubai update

dooba doobai

BLOCKED

Basant-Valentines day Aur Hum

kuch hi dino ki baat hai...

Bichari parveen shaakir :D

shush

Khush Kismet.

from a movie...

~Eid Mubarak~

aik din aur

Static.

yeh log -2

For those who havn't seen it yet :)

yeh log...

picsssss

grad and glad day it was :)

something i wanted to share:)

boring

wow what a year that was.

well said shezzy :D

JObbbbbbbbb

dark chocolate or me? wink